(INT. BAR. RICHARD AND JEANIE SIT AT THE BAR TO ONE SIDE OF THE SET.)
RICHARD
May I ask, what happened to the previous GM?
JEANIE
(TRYING TO EVADE THE QUESTION)
Oh, Paul was sickly.
RICHARD
No, really. What happened?
JEANIE
Well, he couldn’t handle the pressure. It takes a lot to keep this show rolling; the bar, the kitchen, the showroom, comics, staff… Tom.
RICHARD
So he quit?
JEANIE
Paul… flipped out.
(RICHARD IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO LET IT GO WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION.)
(THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SET WILL BE USED FOR HOW RICHARD IMAGINES THE OLD GM AS JEANIE IS DESCRIBING HIM AND WHAT HAPPENED.)
Paul was…
(A THIN MAN ENTERS, IN HIS LATE 30S, WEARING A BUSINESS CASUAL OUTFIT AND STANDING TALL. HE HAS A FULL HEAD OF HAIR AND LOOKS HEALTHY AND HAPPY.)
..well, he was good to start with. He and I were two of the originals here. He had great ideas and high hopes for this place.
(PAUL STRIKES A CONFIDENT POSE.)
He and Tom were at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to running the club.
(TOM ENTERS AND STANDS NEXT TO PAUL, ARMS FOLDED, BACK TO BACK.)
Paul was constantly struggling to get more money from Tom to fix things they way he wanted them and to promote the club the way he thought it should be done.
(PAUL TRIES TO PICK TOM’S POCKET. TOM TAZERS HIM. AFTER THE TAZERING, PAUL’S CLOTHES ARE DISHEVELED AND HIS HAIR IS STICKING UP.)
Essentially, Tom tied Paul’s hands, and there was nothing he could do about it. All his dreams for the club died.
(TOM LITERALLY TIES PAUL’S HANDS IN FRONT. PAUL LOOKS OUT OF BREATH AND BEATEN. TOM EXITS.)
Every day, it seemed, Paul looked worse and worse. He lost a lot of hair.
(PAUL REACHES UP, HANDS STILL TIED TOGETHER, AND PULLS OUT SOME HAIR IN FRONT, DISBELIEVING.)
He started taking his frustrations out on the customers.
(A LITTLE OLD LADY WALKS IN AND STANDS, OBLIVIOUS, NEXT TO PAUL. PAUL SUDDENLY WHIPS HIS TIED HANDS AROUND HER NECK FROM BEHIND AND STRANGLES HER TILL SHE FALLS DOWN. PAUL LOOKS CRAZED.)
Eventually, he just went completely nuts.
(PAUL IS CROUCHED ON A TABLE, CHEWING OFF THE ROPE AROUND HIS WRISTS.)
One night, right in the middle of a show, he ripped off his shirt and underneath he was wearing a homemade chicken suit.
(PAUL LOOKS AT JEANIE QUESTIONINGLY, THEN PEEKS DOWN HIS SHIRT. SURPRISED, HE RIPS IT OFF AS DIRECTED AND REALLY IS WEARING A CHICKEN SUIT.)
He had the head hidden behind the matre’d stand. He just whipped it out, slapped it on and ran around pecking customers until we got him subdued.
(PAUL IS NOW IN FULL HOMEMADE CHICKEN GEAR AND IS FLAPPING HIS WINGS AND PECKING. TOM ENTERS AND TASERS HIM AGAIN, FEATHERS FLYING.)
I haven’t seen him since they took him away that night. We hear gossip every now and again, somebody thought they saw a giant chicken driving a Kia down the thruway, one of the kitchen staff found feathers around the dumpster out back, but nothing concrete.
(TWO MEN CARRY PAUL OFF ON A STRETCHER.)
RICHARD
Is that why you didn’t want this job?
JEANIE
Oh, I wanted it. But Tom doesn’t notice me.
RICHARD
It seems like you’re his right hand man.
JEANIE
No, I’m his right hand woman, and he doesn’t put much stock in that. Besides, by being floor manager I still get to serve, and the tips can be really good. When I serve,
I’ll end up making more than you. Speaking of you, why did you want this job, even after you met Tom?
RICHARD
It all began when my previous employer sent me here to help organize their offices in this state.
(THEY BOTH LOOK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WHERE PAUL HAD ACTED OUT JEANIE’S STORY. NOTHING HAPPENS FOR A BEAT.)
I guess it’s not really that interesting a story. Anyway, I packed up my house in Pittsburgh, moved here, and when I went to the office for my first day of work, the
doors were locked. Apparently, over the weekend, the CEO and his son had been arrested, all their assets liquidated and the business was no longer. I hadn’t yet
had the cable hooked up, so I didn’t find out like the other employees did, through Channel Four news anchor Rocco Starling. So, now, here I am, with a new mortgage, a car with bad brakes, alimony and child support to pay,
and no job.
JEANIE
Until now.
RICHARD
Until now. It doesn’t sound like it will be easy.
JEANIE
It isn’t, but if you can rise above it all, it can be fun. You meet the most interesting people, and you get to see all sorts of funny comedians. With everything that goes on here you’ll never be bored. Toss in Tom and you’ve got yourself an adventure complete with
a meager paycheck.
RICHARD
I’ve just got to try not to… flip out.
JEANIE
If you find yourself buying yellow rubber gloves and bulk feathers, try meditation.
RICHARD
I’ll keep that in mind.
JEANIE
Let me show you around a little more. We have
three bartenders who rotate. Karaoke Night is
Thursdays after the show lets out. And that’s our House Emcee, Mike.
RICHARD
What is?
JEANIE
Him.
(A MAN STANDS UP FROM BEHIND THE BAR. HE IS MIKE MCKEEN, THE HOUSE EMCEE. HE IS HOLDING A ROCKS GLASS, PARTIALLY FULL, AND HE IS ALREADY A LITTLE DRUNK.)
RICHARD
Nice to meet you?
MIKE
Two fish were in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
(MIKE LAUGHS ALONE. RICHARD REACHES OVER TO SHAKE MIKE’S HAND. MIKE DOESN’T CLASP HIS HAND, JUST HOLDS IT FLAT AND STIFF. HE THINKS THIS IS FUNNY. RICHARD IS A LITTLE CREEPED-OUT. MIKE LAUGHS AND LEAVES FOR THE SHOWROOM.)
RICHARD
I guess I’ll be seeing you in the evening.
MIKE
Not if I see you first!
(AS MIKE IS EXITING TO THE SHOWROOM, HE FAKES WALKING INTO THE DOOR AND MIMES HAVING HURT HIS NOSE, LAUGHS AND LEAVES.)
RICHARD
I see what you mean about the funny comedians.
JEANIE
He’s more like what I meant about the “interesting people”.
(JEANIE AND RICHARD EXIT TO THE SHOWROOM.)
